June 5th 2011 Results and Insults

The Butcher

Dandy knows that if he dresses ridiculously enough, his wife will kick him out of the house and he will be free to play cards for the night.  This get-up should buy him at least 3 nights out.

Our latest home game was a rare Sunday game and Dandy and Brain Kramp reminded me of 2 movies;

Pass The Dip: Dandy Bloch and Brain Kramp in T.O.yland - Original Pass The Dip Video

and...

Dandy played 3rd pair to a winner 60% of the time.  He played Q9 off preflop to a $15 raise 80% of the time and he was downright awesome 100% of the time.  But then again, I'm not really a math guy.

I tried a new strategy - the C.H.i.P.S. strategy.  I burst onto the scene, had everyone watching and then I self destructed.  In the end my C.H.i.P.S. went away.

Kailey and Dycker were like a young Forrest Gump - they ran bad.

Papasan had Jacks 3 times that were shown and each time shoved all in.  After successfully winning all 3 pots, I think the poker community can lay to rest the age old question "How the hell do you play Jacks?"

For being new to the game I was impressed with his play.  He had built a nice profit for himself, and gave very few free chips back to the pot.  And then he met the Anti-Chris.  7 Nation Army and Papasan got in  a big action pot and the postman delivered!  Army's J high flush out pipped Papasan's 8 high flush and Army had crushed another stack.

Co played great and had the chip stack to prove it.  The man has been silently crushing the game for months now.

Brain Kramp was admittedly not only running bad, but playing (and I'm paraphrasing her, despite the official quotes) "as bad as anyone has ever played in the history of the world, ever.  Even worse than if Hellen Keller and the cast of Dumb and Dumber had a baby and then shut it in a room so that the only thing it was ever exposed to was Jersey Shore and then gave it a deck of cards and told it to play poker."  It got so bad that he started frantically texting Sheldonkey to try and goad him into coming for the last hour.  He did manage to have a remarkable turnaround, mainly at my expense, and for that I tip my hat and pin a participation ribbon on his jacket.

I found out why Nat X is in such good shape - he must of been losing a lot at poker lately.  There is nothing like a very very very very long walk to clear your head and shed some pounds.

The night was a very fun one with plenty of frustration in the cards to go around.  The company was good, the conversation was lively and Brain Kramp finally won, so we know he'll be back!

Here are some pictures from the game:

"He has missed parties he has never attended.  He once had a winning hand, just to see how it feels.  He's  lost money betting on solitaire.  He only makes the right folds while doing Origami.  When he was younger, he wrote a song named 'Beck'.  His mother has a tattoo that reads 'childless'.  He can roll his eyes in three different languages.  He is the unluckiest man in the world." 

Planning a Second Trip to T.O.

I offer you Kramp's head on a platter.....of chips

Poker for idiots is for idiots indeed.

By the way I kinda feel like Sheldonkey and T-Money Mart got a little gypped in this post.  They both came to play and not only are they not in the pictures, but there is nary an insult in this post to be found.  I will give them their comeuppance next time around.  (That was your comeuppance under your chair was it not, T-Mart?)  I think Sheldon lost his to Brain Kramp in a massive bluff...